I opened up my home and invited you in.  I cooked for you and introduced you to my young daughter.  I tolerated your arrogant boorish husband because I felt sorry for you and wanted to reach out to you.  I opened my heart and shared the romantic story of my husband and my meeting, how he swept me off my feet, was my prince charming and how in love we both were.  I was naïve then, attempting to create more friendships in my life and opening my heart to people I would not normally have opened up to.  My husband’s father had died and left us with an enormous mess of which we had not one bit of help to get through and both he and I were beyond “stressed out”, beyond “burnt out” and holding on only to each other in the midst of a life earthquake larger than anything you could ever fathom.

My husband was friendly to you, and the eyes of a good looking man made you feel special.  You were struggling with a great deal of weight gain, genetics that were not kind to you and a husband whose only use for you was sex.  I understood your pain, I tried to help you.  Despite my kindness, your multitude of personality disorders drove you towards my husband like a moth towards a lamp post, completely blinded to the pain you would cause to me, my family, and most all, my husband.  Through your instant messages and e-mail from not one, but two e-mail accounts, along with your pornographic photos that you sent my husband, I learned who you truly were.  You were not the naïve sweet innocent you portrayed yourself to be.  On the contrary, I saw documented a ruthless, manipulative woman with a great deal of experience in brainwashing a man to believe whatever you wished.  Don’t get me wrong.  My husband was responsible too, however, anyone with any empathy towards the human soul could see he was struggling and the struggle was not from our marriage but from a lifetime at the hands of a narcissistic and emotionally abusive father.  You knew my husband was dealing with the extreme tragedy of the death of his father and being forced into roles he was not comfortable with nor desired.  Instead of being a real friend, and helping my husband through being supportive of the decisions he had made in his life, you took it upon yourself to convince him that his stress was not from his recent tragedy, but from his “witchy” wife.  Every opportunity you could, you twisted his pain and directed it towards me, stroking his ego and offering him the only thing you know how to give a man:  sex.  Being in another city at the time, you led him on via the internet through your talented words, your penthouse style writing background coming in very handy weaving him a fantasy beyond his wildest imagination.

Upon my misguided kindness suggesting he attend a conference in the city where you lived, of which I was unaware, you swooped in and made sure you ended up in his bed at his hotel room.  Tell me, did it make you feel good about yourself knowing he had to consume $150 worth of alcohol just to have sex with you?  How did it make you feel hearing him tell me he loved me, right before he turned off his cell phone and screwed you?  Was that, in your demented mind, some kind of strange sign that he was yours?  Did you know that he came home and was sick for three days after that trip and kept holding me like it was the end of the world?  I didn’t know it at the time, but he thought it was the end of his.

You wanted him, I definitely know.  Your husband had threatened a divorce because you had gained too much weight, and you needed a cash cow to support you because you struggle on your own to support yourself.  Looking into your career, at your level of talent, how do you get those positions?  How is it working in an industry dominated by men with so much more talent than you that you continue to have a job?  Do either of us really need to ask that question or can we just end it here with we both know how you do it.  How do you live with yourself?  How do you look in the mirror?  You tried very hard to get my husband to break after your rendezvous at that hotel.  A pornographic photo sent to the e-mail account you knew was open and available to both my young daughter and me.  Was it your intention that both of us see that naked photo of you?  Did it not bother you at all that his child could have seen this?  Your texts sent to the phone you knew I also carried with me while we were on our family vacation.. another attempt to “out” him while seemingly “caring”?  What did you think it would get you?

I can only thank you for the final cards you played.  The “we’ll get married, take your daughter horseback riding and all will be wonderful”.  This was what woke him up.  Your claim to his daughter, and his realization that he wanted you nowhere near her because all he saw in your was an insecure, mentally unstable, dishonest and dishonorable woman.  It scared the hell out of him that the huge mistake he had made might cross lines with the life he cherished so much and held so dearly close to his heart.

He woke up.  He cried for months.  I can honestly say his pain was greater than mine.. and this was the most painful thing I have ever dealt with in my life.

His mistake still haunts him.  The masterpiece of our marriage up to that point having been destroyed by his need to escape from the stress of his father’s death and him not realizing that this “escape” would alter his life forever and that it wasn’t just some game he was playing over the internet.

I can only hope karma exists and that the pain of your heated desperate chase of my husband echoes throughout your life.  I know you cannot understand love or marriage, having had two disastrous marriages end before you even hit your mid 30s.  You, with the capacity to knowingly destroy a marriage and the beautiful life two people had made together.

My prayer to the universe is this:  you find love, the kind of love we have, that can withstand the devastating effects of an affair.  When that happens, the memory of your actions and their echo on our lives will give you a realization of the depth of the damage you inflicted and it will never stop haunting you.  That is what you deserve.

From our end, his pain is still there.  My anger towards the universe for you being able to saunter away and inflict your energy into someone elses life will probably never end, but we survived and became stronger than ever.  Thank YOU!

I see you have a new man in your life now.  Does he know your past and who you really are?  No matter where you go in your dark world, it will remain with you.